Uhm... Yeah... That Was A Thing... - A Guardians of the Galaxy Movie Review

Intro

Alrighty... so... I went to see Guardians of the Galaxy last night. I'm gonna say right off the bat that my opinion of it is probably controversial in that I wasn't all that impressed. I don't know what it was, but Guardians of the Galaxy just didn't hit me the way any of the other Marvel movies had. I've been attempting to piece together why this is but... yeah... I haven't figured it out yet.

So there's my non-spoiler-y review. The rest of the review is a little oddly structured but it's what I started coming up with at 1 AM this morning so... deal with it.

SPOILER WARNING

The following content is filled with spoilers for Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy. If you haven't seen it and are spoiler-phobic, you should stop reading right now and go watch it. If anything, you'll be giving Marvel some more money... and also Disney... but whatever. At least go watch it.

Almost Instant Thoughts - 1 AMish

• Uhm... yeah... that was definitely a thing.
• It was a great ride, but forgive me if I'm not singing the usual post-Marvel-movie praises.
• Lord knows I'm all for the lived-in, grungy feeling of my sci-fi stuff, but would a couple of light bulbs have killed them?
• This is probably the Marvel movie I'll go back and watch only once, if only to try and figure out what I'm not getting about the apparent brilliance.
• I laughed at the funny lines, I teared up at one point, I found the post-credits scene funny. But other than that... I'm clearly underwhelmed. My memory of Guardians of the Galaxy at this point is of space ships and shrapnel... okay, and baby Groot dancing. That was adorable.

I didn't do this. Showed up in my Facebook feed.

Even Later Thoughts - Somewhere between 1 and 3 AMish

• Gamora's speech patterns are now reminding me of Kida from Atlantis.
• I think I would have been happier with more Star Lord dancing around being a dork than the space battles.
• Ronan... yeah... I'd rather have had a villain I actually cared about than one who was essentially a big block of nothing. It wasn't even interesting watching him fight... like watching Superman... which I don't because it's boring. (Yes, I know, hate on me for hating on Supes. Go ahead. I don't care.)

Over 12 Hours Later Thoughts

This is where the review gets to be less random... or at least out of bullet points.

I went and read someone else's review of Guardians. It was actually more of a discussion about Guardians vs Avengers... or something. Anyway, you can look at it HERE. Anyway, there's a lot of gushing in it about the quote-ability of Guardians. I gotta say, I didn't find this to be the case. I can barely remember any lines from the movie proper. Seriously, the only line that comes to mind at the moment is Rocket saying "Oh Yeah." when getting his gun in the prison... which was in the trailers so... I don't count it.

Yondu and his crew were pretty forgettable as far as I'm concerned. I thought Yondu's whistle arrow thing was cool but that was pretty much the extent of my interest. I'm honestly more interested in the throw-away line at the end about having been hired to deliver Quill to his father. When was that? Why didn't it happen? Who the hell is actually Quill's father? I'd pick up a comic book or Wiki that to find out but at the same time, I honestly don't care that much.

Maybe that's what it comes down to with me. I just don't care enough about the Guardians of the Galaxy characters to have enjoyed the movie so much. Well... that and the shit ton of space battles. I don't really like those. I'm more invested in the other Marvel movies because I'm more familiar with the characters outside the movies... even if it's pretty much hating them for one reason or another... *cough*Spiderman*cough*

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Guardians of the Galaxy was a great ride. It's a ride I won't rewatch a hundred and five times, but it was fun. I don't regret watching it. I don't regret actually paying for it (I have some free movie tickets coming in the mail and I was gonna wait for those but didn't). I will cherish my memories of watching Star Lord dance around like a dork using a weird critter for a microphone and of baby Groot dancing adorably. But overall, Guardians of the Galaxy fell sort of flat for me.

Love ya, Jessie