Bronies, we need to have a talk. It's about our wonderful ponies and the tendency to graft human problems onto them. Sure, that's sort of what they are there for, but we need to draw some lines.
Line 1: Scootaloo the Chicken
No, I have no problem with us calling dear little Scoots a chicken. What I have a problem with is grafting her with a handicap and sad story of not living in Cloudsdale. I bring this up because of a Brony panel (which was not actually a panel, by the way) that took place at Comicpalooza. The Philosophical and Sociological Aspects of My Little Pony consisted of a single guy who spent WAY too much time talking about how Scootaloo's eing size prevents her from flying and therefore is a handicap. He also told us about his head-cannon where Scootaloo and her parents had to live in Ponyville because Cloudsdale is unsafe for poor, flightless Scootaloo.
So... what if it turns out Scootaloo just has flightless parents, like Pound Cake. What then? What if, the next time we see her, she manages to take off and fly? This would completely destroy all of that. But no, apparently, Scootaloo is handicapped be too-short wings.
And then there are the sad stories about Scootaloo being an orphan. They're just... unnecessary. Seriously. The reason these stories popped up were because Scootaloo's parents haven't showed up in the show. Which, if you notice, is true for 99% of the ponies in the show. We might as well just brand all the ponies orphans, if that's the only reason Scootaloo is an orphan.
Line 2: Ditsy Doo/Derpy Hooves
First, let me say this: Derpy is Best Background Pony. However, just because she is a walleyed and clumsy does not mean she is sad or has a sad life.
This, I bring up, because I listened to BaldDumboRat of YouTube's reading of "Bubbles." It was cute, for the most part. However, I have a gigantic objection to the abusive mother portrayed in the story. "Hey, I think it's a good idea to poison my daughter and then leave her alone in the forest." Stop. Just... seriously. Stop it!
This is a kid's show for Pete's sake! Postpartum Derpy's mom we do not want or need. It's annoying and makes me cry. I watch ponies and do pony stuff to brighten my day and smile. I don't need depressing stuff. Yes, I found "Bubbles" depressing. I found it more depressing than sad "Derpy-pocalypse" art. And don't even get me started on that.
Line 3: Cupcakes/Rainbow Factory
Haven't read them? Don't. No, seriously, don't.
Read them? Stop talking about them. Me included.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this: STOP taking cute, cuddly, smile-inducing things and making them resemble human everyday.
I believe ponies are meant to educate about friendship and acceptance. They don't need to be burdened with our crap. We all know they've got their own crap to deal with. Party of One, anyone?
